Birthday Blues

Friday, 10^th June 2011 was a momentous day – Nike turned 30! And the day was an unmitigated disaster. Of course, being the 30^th birthday, the day was at a disadvantage to start with. Now I believe there are two ways of celebrating milestone birthdays – one is to go wild and crazy and make it a birthday to remember; the second way is the other extreme, where you lie low, hope no one notices its your birthday, wait for the day to get over and for life to return to normal.

Nike started out deciding that he would enter the 30’s with a big bang. In an ideal world, he would have wanted to ring in the 30’s at Vegas with his friends. But its not an ideal world, so he settled for a road trip across Lebanon with his friends instead. Of course, as I am only human, I was jealous, and tried to encourage them to do said road trip across Germany or some such less exotic destination, but my ploys were in vain. But then all the upheavals in the Middle East began, warnings were issued, and the Lebanon road trip was cancelled (Let it be said on record that I did NOT rejoice; I felt really bad for Nike, and even felt as guilty as hell).

Then Nike made plans to go visit the UK with a cousin, spend some time with his brother-in-law there, and drive around the countryside. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out either. Undeterred, Nike decided on a road trip to Ladakh with his friends. By this time, I was skeptical of any of these plans working out, so I didn’t die of envy at the thought of Nike going off on a bike to Ladakh while I slaved away at office in the Hyderabad summer.

Ladakh is the sorriest story of all. Nike put in a lot of effort into coordinating among different groups of friends, and a group of friends finalized the Ladakh trip for June. Then, one of Nike’s best friends, A, said he couldn’t make it in June, so could they go in May instead. I warned that May was a dicey time to do a road trip to Ladkah on account of the road conditions, but they decided to go ahead in May anyway. Leaves were taken, tickets and accommodation were booked. After Nike reached Delhi (and was to set out to Kalka early the next morning), he found out that the road to Ladakh was blocked due to an avalanche.

His friends decided to go to Dharamsala instead, but Nike headed back home, deciding to save those leaves and use them in June to go to Ladakh. Unfortunately, due to various circumstances, none of Nike’s friends could do the Ladakh trip in June. The poor guy was so keen on it that at one point, he was considering doing the road trip solo, but thankfully decided against it!

By this time, I was being eaten away with guilt – I was envious of his trips and that’s why he couldn’t go, so its somehow all indirectly my fault, get it?. So I suggested making it a weekend getaway – but for Nike, it was Ladakh or nothing at all (and I couldn’t take so many days of two months into joining a new job). I even suggested a day at a resort in the city outskirts, but both of us aren’t really into that sort of a thing, and of course he wasn’t enthusiastic about it. And so it was that the birthday was going to be in Hyderabad.

The next tricky part was the gift. He wanted a camera bag! I couldn’t think of a more boring and forgettable gift. So I suggested I would enroll him for a two day paragliding course instead – he wasn’t enthusiastic about it. I then suggested buying him a guitar and enrolling him for guitar classes - he wasn’t enthusiastic about it either.

Two days to go for the birthday and no gift yet – I was beginning to despair. I then hit upon the idea of making a scrapbook. I spent the day reading up how to make a scrapbook, and then left work early that day, and headed out to buy scrapbook supplies. I spent the next day and two nights slaving over the scrapbook, but I had grossly underestimated the amount of work required for it, and so it wasn’t complete on time.

I had decided that we would have dinner at the Faluknama Palace on his birthday. The views, the setting, the service, the food – if reviews are to be believed, all of it is completely unforgettable. So I called many days before the 10^th to book a table for two, only to be told that the entire palace had been booked out for a wedding! Damn it! Why couldn’t people get married at some other time? Why do they have to do it bang in the middle of the husbands 30^th birthday?

The next plan was to send him 30 roses. However, on the night before the birthday, when a discussion came up about flowers, he said he didn’t like being given flowers at all. He said it was silly, and it was a waste of money. Now, I knew he didn’t care for flowers, but I had foolishly assumed that if it was for his birthday, he might actually like the gesture. But he was rather vehement in his dislike of receiving flowers and his opinion on their wastefulness (despite my protests “But you can put them on your desk!”) and so I hurriedly cancelled the flowers.

Anyway, in the midst of all this chaos and confusion, his birthday arrived. The mother-in-law baked a delicious cake for him, which he cut at midnight – apparently it’s a birthday tradition from his childhood and it made him very happy. The next morning, I wanted to serve him breakfast in bed, but since my culinary skills are very limited, I asked him if he’d enjoy being served bread-omlette with juice and the newspaper in bed. He said he would rather eat dosas at the dining table, and that was the end of my breakfast in bed plans – anyway, we woke up very late that day, so if I had made the breakfast, it would have ended up being brunch.

After breakfast, I shut myself up in the guest bedroom to continue working on the scrapbook, but Nike knocked repeatedly till I had to let him in and he ended up seeing the scrapbook without my completing it! He said it was a ‘lovely gesture’; and instead of being content with that, when I pressed him for more he added “Its rather like a child’s craft project, isn’t it” and then “You aren’t very artistic are you” and even “What is this thing on this page? Haha…that’s funny!”.

We then got ready to go out for lunch, only to find out that his parents had taken one car for the doctors appointment and the other car had been sent off for repair. We waited for well over an hour before one of the cars came back, and by the time we set out for lunch, it was well past 2pm, and we were both VERY hungry.

As luck would have it, we were stuck in a horrendous traffic jam, and reached the restaurant at 3.30pm. Luckily, the place was still open – possibly our only piece of luck on that day. Our drinks arrived and tasted awful – turns out, the bartended wasn’t around! Thankfully, the food was good, and we enjoyed lunch.

After lunch, went to pick up the next surprise for Nike – a camera cake! Getting the camera cake had been a major hassle – I had googled for and printed pictures of camera cakes, and then gone to three bakeries around town (and sent friends to another two) before I found someone willing to make the camera cake. So when we went to pick up the cake I was very nervous and excited. Thankfully, the cake turned out beautifully and even Nike was very pleased with it. Though he did comment that it was unhealthy and we shouldnt eat too much of it!

As we set out home after picking up the cake, we kind of got lost, and accidentally ended up in a one way. And promptly got stopped by the traffic police and received a fine. I wanted to tell the policeman “But its his birthday today!” (In case you were wondering, I didn’t). We finally reached home, Nike’s cousins joined us there, he cut the camera cake (which received much admiration from everyone), he showed everybody the scrapbook (which again received much admiration inspite of its incomplete status and gratified me sufficiently), we played Taboo (which Nike and his team won for the first time in the 18 months we have been playing against each other), we ordered in biryani for dinner, we played dumb charades in the lawn, and then everyone left, and Nike and I went for a drive.

After we came back home, I sent him a mail titled ’30 Reasons Why I Love You’. I assumed he would be touched and emotional. Maybe he’s respond with 27 reasons why he loved me. He read it and said “That’s very sweet of you. Now lets go to sleep”.

And thus ended the day. Next year, I’m just going to stick to a simple cake, and biryani for dinner. And the darned camera bag for a birthday gift!

P.S: Oh, and we finally decided that I would gift him a tattoo. It has him very excited!

P.P.S: He did mention that despite all the things that didn’t happen/went wrong for his birthday, he had enjoyed himself and had a good day. And that’s my reason #1 – it doesn’t take much to keep him happy. I should learn from him. Oh, and also, I told him I want to go to Paris for the my 30^th – it’s a good 3 years away, but a little advance planning never hurt.

In Which My Sister Visits Me in Prison

I got back just a while ago from a late night show of ‘The Next Three Days’. The basic plot is that Russell Crowe’s wife is in jail for murder and he plans to help her escape from jail. The first 30 minutes of the movie gives you a sense of the frustration the woman feels, knowing that she’s going to be spending the rest of her life in jail, away from her family, away from everything she loves; while her husband puts his life on hold, waiting for her to come back, and the young son struggles to deal with the whole situation.

That part of the movie was just.so.sad. Luckily, after the first 30 minutes, the actions starts, with Crowe deciding that his wife is going to escape from prison, and sets about planning the escape. It’s good in the beginning – this is just an everyday guy who is in a desperate situation – and he makes mistakes and his desperation and vulnerability and helplessness really come through. It isn’t what I would call a ‘tight thriller’ – there are plenty of holes in his plan, there’s way too much luck involved – it probably falls more into the genre of ‘crime drama’ than ‘crime thriller’, buts it’s a good watch nonetheless.

Anyway, so there is this really weird thing I have: Whenever I watch a movie/ read a book about an ordinary middle class person, especially a woman, being sent to jail for a crime she did not commit, I start thinking ‘Ohmygod! This could happen to me! I could be in jail someday for a murder I did not commit’. And then I start feeling rather uncomfortable and worried.

Then I plan what to do in such circumstances: Should I try to escape? Should I bribe the jailor so I get special treatment? How will I handle the dirty toilets? The awful food? The miserable living conditions? The rats and rodents? If prison guards or other inmates make a move on me, how should I handle it? Maybe I should migrate to Australia, so that if I ever end up in prison, I can atleast have decent living conditions (this after having read somewhere that Australia’s prisons are among the best in the world).

Suffice to say, ‘innocent helpless ordinary person thrown into jail’ storylines are enough to make me lose the plot (hehe!). Since this movie dealt a little bit around the theme (okay, by now you’ve probably forgotten which movie I’m even talking about) without actually focusing on awful jail life, my thoughts after the movie were more occupied with how my family would deal with me being in jail. When I went home, I found my sister online. This conversation followed:

Me: If I was sent to jail for a murder I did not commit, how often would you come and visit me?

S: That depends on which jail.

Me: Vizag jail. And you also live in Vizag.

S: Okay, then I’d visit you every alternate day. Or maybe three times a week.

Me (not expecting her to visit more than once a week): Wow! You’re so sweet Samee. I love you!

S: I love you too Akka.

Sisters! What would I do without one!

P.S: You know those books or movies in which an ordinary middle class person suddenly becomes rich by winning a lottery or getting an inheritance or something? Well, why don’t I ever think ‘Ohmygod! This could happen to me! I could win the lottery someday and become rich!’ and then spend the next couple of hours pleasantly thinking about how to spend the money.

The Bangalore Experience

When I’m travelling, I try to take in as many sights as possible, and experience as much of the local culture and cuisine as I can in my short stay in a new place. Yet, I’ve lived in Bangalore for over four years, and have missed out on some incredible Bangalore experiences. So I decided I’m going to list all things Bangalore that I want to experience – and I am going to complete this list in the next one year (I know one year sounds like a long time for such a small list, but I’m not going to be in Bangalore from October to February, so am going to start working on the list only once I’m back).

1. Kannada Gothilla: Quite shameful that I still can’t speak Kannada, after over 4 years in Bangalore. Even more shameful considering Telugu is a close cousin. I can read, I can understand, but I can’t speak. I even went to Kannada classes for a couple of days, and picked up a smattering of the language, but those skills are rusted from lack of practice.

2. Dosa at Vidyarthi Bhavan: Yeah, you read that right! I’ve never had dosa (or anything else) at this legendary Bangalore eatery. Largely because I don’t care much for Masala Dosa – I prefer plain dosa – and I know dozens of other places much closer to where I live where I can get a really good dosa. Still, I intend to go to VB one day to figure out what all the fuss is about.

3. Kannada Movies at the Theatre: I’ve wanted to watch a Kannada movie in a theatre ever since I moved here, and never got around to it. I did see Mungaru Male in a bus once, but watching it in a local theatre is the real deal. Mostly it is because there are usually so many movies I’m desperate to watch in a week that this fancy takes a backseat.

4. MTR: Sigh! So I’ve never had lunch at the legendary Mavalli Tiffin Rooms. Went there twice, and still didn’t get to eat there. The first time, we landed up at MTR without any cash, found out they didn’t accept cards, hunted about for an ATM, and by the time we found one and drew cash and got back, they were closed for lunch! The second time we went, we were super hungry, and couldn’t quite handle the long wait, so we left after half an hour and went elsewhere for lunch. Maybe third time lucky.

5. Bangalore Palace: It’s rather sad that I’ve never visited the Bangalore palace, given how I’m really into palaces and forts and other historical structures. When I’m travelling, I try and visit as many historical places as possible – so it’s ironic that I’ve not been to a palace just a few kilometres from where I live.

6. India Coffee House: Now this is a place that tourists associate with Bangalore, and I have not stepped into its hallowed portals once in the four years I have lived here. It’s funny really – I’ve even directed foreign tourists to the India Coffee House, and yet never been there myself. Must. be. rectified.

7. Lalbagh: Okay, before you gasp, I have been to Lalbagh. But that was before I started living in Bangalore – when I was here on holiday many years ago. Once I moved to Bangalore, I never stepped into Lalbagh. Every year, I think I will go when the flower show is on, but I’ve never implemented that ambitious plan.

8. Breakfast @ Max Mueller Bhavan: Puzzling why I’ve never tried the famous breakfast at Max Mueller Bhavan, given how I love continental breakfasts, and considering I’ve lived in Indiranagar for so long. It probably has to do with the fact that I never managed to get up early enough for breakfast on weekends.

9. Bannerghatta National Park: All right, I know this is not a typical Bangalore thing to do, but I lived on Bannerghatta Road for two years, heard that BNP made for a fun day trip, and yet never got around to doing it.

10. Shopping @KSIC/ Mysore Saree Udyog: Every female I know who’s ever visited Bangalore has bought Mysore silk sarees, either for themselves, or to take to relatives back home. My unfortunate mother has certainly not been the recipient of any such gift from me in all the years I’ve lived in Bangalore.

All you Bangaloreans – is there anything else you would recommend on this list?

And for everyone else – what are the things you want to do in your city, which you think are an essential ‘your city’ experience, and which you still haven’t done?

In Which We Bounce Back

Okay, now that we are back from the trip, and are relatively more cheerful, I’ve decided to pick up this tag from Preeti. I had fun doing it!

Asked someone to marry you? Innocent. Got asked though (and don’t believe anything else Nike may tell you).

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty. And I’m not going to spill the beans. Ha!

Danced on a table in a bar? Guilty. And it was such fun!

Ever told a lie? Guilty. I’d really like to see someone who said innocent to this one! That said and done, I’m usually honest because I am rather superstitious about lying.

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Innocent. Unless you count semi-crushes on random stars as ‘feelings’.

Kissed a picture? Guilty. Oh, those years!

Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty. Mostly on the Sundays after an L-square, when we got up just in time for the evening snacks.

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty. ALL the bloody time at b-school of course. And at work, I had a boss who would encourage us to take short power naps after lunch – he was from a b-school too.

Held a snake? Innocent. The heights of my adventurousness in this aspect is limited to stroking somebody’s pet dog, and a kangaroo.

Been suspended from school? Innocent. Given I was such a Ms. Goody – Two – Shoes in school.

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent. 

Stolen from a store? Innocent. Though lots of my friends did in school – candies, gum, key chains, once even a whole crate of soft drinks to get to the school picnic – I sternly disapproved of such things and I still do. It still makes me mad when I hear of people who do things like that – those few bucks will not make a darned difference to us, but will probably make a lot of difference to the shopkeeper.

Done something you regret? Guilty. Just one thing really. If I could turn back time, that would be the only thing I would change.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty. Though I’m not exactly the embodiment of etiquette otherwise also.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent. Heyyy, let me tell you the story of my first experience with snow*.  

Kissed in the rain? Guilty. I love the rain!

Sat on a roof top? Guilty. Even slept on the IIMB rooftop on night, blanket and all!

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Guilty. And that’s all I’m going to say! :p

Sang in the shower? Guilty. That’s the only place my family and friends allow me to sing

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent. And I would drown if someone pushed me.

Shaved your head? Guilty. Long, long ago. When I was two years old. I don’t think I would ever do it to make a style statement though. I'm very non-radical that way.

Had a boxing membership? Innocent. I’ve been wanting to join kickboxing, but I’m really not just the boxing types.

Made a girlfriend cry? Guilty. More than once. Thanks to my once outrageous temper.

Been in a band? Guilty. I was the guitarist, though I couldn’t play the damned instrument to save my life!

Shot a gun? Guilty. At an exhibition, of course.

Donated Blood? Innocent. Sigh. Gathered the courage one day to go and donate, and was turned back because I was anaemic. I think it will take a couple of years before I gather the courage to go again and donate.

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent. Did want to try when I was in Australia on a trip, but never did get the courage.

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty. Blueberry, mango, strawberry.....

Still love someone you shouldn’t?Innocent. If I love someone, I think they are worth being loved by me ;-)

Have/had a tattoo? Innocent. Never will also, since my threshold for pain is non-existent.

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Innocent.

Been too honest? Guilty. Diplomacy isn’t my greatest skill, but I’m learning.

Ruined a surprise? Innocent. In fact, even pretended to be surprised a couple of times, though I’d known about the surprise for a while. And I’m the one who usually plans the surprises.

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? 

Guilty. All the bloody time. Especially at buffets. Whattodo? I’m just very greedy that way.

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty. Though it caused, and continues to cause, a lot of heartache.

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty. Till not so long ago, I was quite the tomboy.

Joined a pageant? Innocent. I am vain, but not THAT vain also!

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?

Guilty. Atleast, I hope they totally meant it.

Had communication with your ex? Guilty. And it is no big deal.

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent. The idea holds a horrifying fascination for me though. 

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty. All the bloody time! Though it’s better this way than my earlier expression of anger, which was to break the first thing that came to my hand.

Woah, I am guilty on so many counts! Who would have thought?

Feel free to pick up the tag – I had great fun doing it, and you will too, I’m sure.

* Now for my snow story:

In 2005, I was supposed to be in Belgium for four months, from September till January, but I fell ill with chicken-pox and decided to return home a month early, in December. I hadn’t seen snow ever in my life till then, and with my Switzerland trip cancelled because of my unexpected early return, my only chance was if it snowed in Brussels.

Fat chance, people said. It rarely snowed in Brussels, and even if it does, that happens only in February, which is peak winter. But I’m an optimist if ever there was one, so for my last two weeks, the first thing I did on getting up every day was to look out of the kitchen window for snow. But there was none. Two days before I was due to leave, I got up to see the entire backyard was covered in snow. For a little while, I thought I was dreaming.

So I did get to experience snow on my last two days there. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my first taste of snow! I did get to experience snow last December in Italy during the honeymoon also, and it was BEAUTIFUL. I didn’t trying catching a snowflake with my tongue though – next time ;-)

The makings of a shirkaholic

This template quite suits me and my blog, methinks. Most pretty. I'm quite delighted with this template and this I will keep for much longer. I've also (kinda) figured out how to play with the fonts and colours, in case I am bored, so I am feeling rather proud of myself as I survey my blog's new and pretty look. I'm not so much into pink for blog colours you know - I like pink but no, not for my blog because it makes me think I should change my writing style, so I'd rather change the colour.

And yeah, finally, managed to add links to other blogs - which has been this blog's lifelong aspiration, I solemnly assure you. No, really. So if you want me to add your blog to your blog roll (ha!! you say?), do let me know. I'll only be most delighted. Though I suspect I'm more likely to have the people I've already added come and tell me to remove their blog from my blogroll. Gah!

Anyway, this was the conversation between a colleague and me sometime before lunch today –

Me: Today is Thursday, no? Hmm…I wish today were not a Thursday.

P: Why? You don’t like Thursdays?

Me: No. It’s just that Thursdays is Aloo Tikki or Paneer Tikka.

P: Paneer Tikka.

Sigh. This is what happens to people when they eat at Subway too often.

I’ve lost all motivation for work these days, and I do hope none of the bosses are reading this, or yours truly is bound to get the pink slip. So I leave everything for the last minute and then submit it hurriedly. I open a document to read it and while I am reading it, turning pages, my mind is elsewhere. I start to write reports but even after an hour, barely half a page is done. And before I know it, its 7pm and I haven’t done anything at all. I feel most guilty and mortified and decide that I will go home and complete it – if I do manage to open my laptop once I’m home, I fall asleep within minutes of doing so (though if I’m reading a book or watching television, I can stay up all night).

And then, I’m so ashamed of myself and so guilt ridden that I wake up bright and early the next morning, determined to work so hard that I’ll finish the entire week’s pending work in this one day. But again and again, it is the same story, day in and day out. And when people all around me are discussing work, drawing complicated diagrams on the board, firing printouts, exchanging important reports on pen drives while I sit and stare blankly at the many, many windows open on my system, my ears go red, my heart beats wildy and I fear they will all find out my dark secret and surely, I will be ostracized, maybe even excommunicated.

After pondering for many days on why I am like this, I have come to the conclusion that I need 2 things – a BREAK and a CHANGE. I’m getting my BREAK soon (and it couldn’t be soon enough) for I’m off to Calcutta this Saturday, where I will join the family to proceed towards Sikkim (bounces around room in joy). My dad says he is already practicing to be his annoying best so that we all heartily regret planning this trip at all and then literally blackmailing him into coming.

As for the CHANGE, I don’t want a change from my job really. Because there is a lot of variety in the project we do so I’m quite happy with my work actually. But I’ve been in Hyderabad for over a year now, and it’s the same old routine and I’m most bored with it. Sure, I have lots and lots of friends here, and its very cheap here and all that jazz but I’d really like to move out and experience life in another city because I’ve only lived in Hyderabad ever since I left home.

Well, yes, I did live in Bangalore too but living on campus in a city is not the same as living in the city. So Bangalore wouldn’t be a bad place to try out. I also loved Mumbai when I went there a couple of months ago, for the weekend. There is SO MUCH to do in that city, and so many people to do it with. So I was vacillating between Bangalore and Mumbai but finally settled on the former.

It took me well over a month to gather the courage to tell my boss that I wanted to move to Bangalore. I tried presenting a strong case for me to move, but I’m sure he thought it was rather immature of me. So he said that he and the Partner in Hyderabad were going to Bangalore and meeting the senior people there for a ‘Discussion on Resources’. Now he is back from The Discussion and I need to gather the courage to go and ask him about the outcome and my fate.

Oh, I will be most broken hearted if I am not to go to Bangalore. Ever since telling my boss that I wanted to move, I’ve been planning out my move to Bangalore. I will stay in a PG so I get to eat atleast one decent meal a day. And I will go for dance classes after work or on weekends – not the ubiquitous salsa, for I have my heart set on learning belly dancing or getting back into the Bharatnatyam groove. And I will enroll for weekend language courses (French/German/ Spanish).

Now if only I could go down and ask my boss.