Out with the Old, In with the New

So the BIG NEWS is that I have joined an NGO! I am working in the India office of a US based public charity which does work in the area of public health. I am handling a very interesting project, and I am extremely excited about the role and the work involved.

So we got back in the first week of February from our South East Asia trip, and it was time for me to get back to a full time job. I was very keen on joining an NGO; even in my previous job, I was working in the development sector, but now I wanted to work on the field. But I’m as materialistic as they come, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to take the pay cut involved (since I was earning millions in my previous job, NOT!). After much agonising, I decided to take the plunge and by mid-Feb I had started applying for NGO jobs.

Fortunately, things moved very quickly, and within two weeks I had a job offer. And it was a role I was very keen to work on. And so I said yes. The cherry on the cake was that the salary was much better that what I had been preparing myself for. Once that was final, we went off to Rajasthan for a holiday, came back to Bangalore, and after two lovely weeks in Bangalore, moved to Hyderabad in time for Ugadi and my joining date.

And that brings us to the bad news. The office is in Hyderabad. A week ago, we packed bag and baggage, and moved to Hyderabad. The bad news isn’t that I’m moving to Hyderabad, the bad news is that I have to leave Bangalore. I’ve lived for four years in Hyderabad and it’s a city I’m very familiar with and very comfortable in. A city I have very fond memories of. It means Nike and I are both closer to our families. It means I can now spend more time with some of my closest friends. In many ways, moving to Hyderabad is a good thing – and yet, I pine for Bangalore!

Without realising it, Bangalore has become home for me now. Vizag is, and always will, be home for me first and foremost. But Bangalore was home too. And I’m going to miss the lovely weather, the billions of wonderful weekend getaways, the quirky things to do in the city, the sense of laidbackness, my friends, my familiar haunts, that indefinable spirit of the city. I will, however, NOT miss the auto-wallahs. I;m also disappointed that I have had to move out before the Metro finally started - all that traffic and headache I withstood staunchly, thinking of a future in which I zip around in the Metro - and now I don't get the fruits of my labour. Gah!

Maybe if I was moving to a city I had never lived in before, like Delhi or Bombay, the excitement of living in a new city might have overshadowed the sorrow of leaving Bangalore. But there is no excitement at moving back to a familiar old place like Hyderabad, and so there is much sorrow at leaving Bangalore. Some of my happiest years have been in Bangalore – almost all my memories and associations of the city are incredibly happy ones – and it makes it so much harder to let go of a place that has given me so much love and joy.

People talk about how Bangalore has no ‘character’ when compared to older cities like Bombay, Calcutta, Delhi, Madras or Hyderabad. And I have to reluctantly agree with them. Yet, there is something in that city that slowly, slowly, sneaks upon you and makes you think ‘this is home’. It’s a very comfortable city, a city that graciously lets you be, a city that lets you become a part of it without you having to make any effort whatsoever to fit in. I’m convinced that once one gets used to living in Bangalore, it is going to be very difficult to move to any other major Indian city – life will get that much tougher.

Okay, now I’ve gone and made myself all sad and misty-eyed and nostalgic about Bangalore! I’m going to end this post here before I talk myself into buying tickets to head off to Bangalore this weekend. Ciao!

Holiday Travails

A Desert Sunset

So I got back from Rajasthan the Sunday before last. Rajasthan was fabulous. Spent two lovely days in Jaisalmer and then headed out to a desert safari (also known as ride a camel in the desert for two days straight till your arse is sore; all for the glory of being called a traveller, rather than a tourist). Then a quick stop at Jodhpur to visit the Meherangarh Fort and the retiring rooms of the railway station, and onwards to Udaipur, with stops at the fantastic Ranakpur temples and the majestic Kumbalgarh Fort on the way.

Proof of Visit: Me at the Gadisar Lake in Jaisalmer

Udaipur was a lovely place, and after two leisurely days there, we headed off to Ranthambore to spot tigers. Alas and alack, the tigers refused to be spotted, despite me being up and about at 5am. I also learned in Ranthambore that it is not in trains and flights that one needs to fear children, but on safaris. No, no, no, I shall not speak more of that traumatic experience! Finally to Jaipur, where I morphed into crazy shopaholic buying up everything in sight, with Nike valiantly, but unsuccessfully, trying to bring in the element of moderation.

On the last day, Nike left early morning on the flight to Bangalore. I was flying to Hyderabad on work, and my flight wasn’t until later that day, so I wandered off to visit the Hawa Mahal and the Jantar Mantar. At the Jantar Mantar, a stout, moustachioed man comes across to me and asks ‘Are you local?’ I briefly consider responding “Non. Je suis Française. Je ne comprends pas l’anglais’ but I’m no Kalki Koechlin so I just walked away instead. This man goes up to his companion (another stout but non-moustachioed man) and whispers to him while they both stare at me and then start following me around the Jantar Mantar, which was very distracting because one needed to really concentrate to understand what all those instruments were for, and one can’t concentrate very well when one is being followed around.

I was beginning to feel rather uncomfortable, though not worried (it was broad daylight, there were loads of people around, and police just a few feet away). Finally non-moustachioed man comes up to me and says “Can I snap with you?” Needless to say, I was taken aback, so I sternly said “No” and walked away. He followed me some more and repeated the question, and was rewarded with an exasperated “No”. At this point, I seriously considered showing him my phone and saying “I’ll ask my husband and see if it’s okay with him” – I’m sure that would have shut him up, but I didn’t want to use the bogeyman of a husband, and I was done with the Jantar Mantar anyway and it was time to head back for the airport, so I just left.

Thankfully, those two morons didn’t trouble me any further, beyond morosely staring at the auto. I was wondering if they would follow me to the hotel (which wouldn’t have mattered in these circumstances because I had checked out and was leaving, but which could have been dangerous if I was staying at that hotel for a few more days).  Thinking about it now, I hope he said ‘snap’ and not ‘sleep’, because if it was the latter, I would have been pissed off and would have been calling the police and complaining about harassment.

So that was my ‘Adventures in Rajasthan’ in a nutshell. I had a great two days in Hyderabad, and am finally home in Bangalore after what seems an eternity (five months actually). The weather is dreadful, and I just spent the last two days sleeping, eating, reading and watching two seasons of Full House because I’ve exhausted everything else on my hard disk and its taking forever to download Grey’s Anatomy.

That’s all for now, my dear, patient reader. Thank you for putting up with my nonsense. More shall follow soon.

Turning 27

One week ago I turned 27, and turning 27 isn't always a bad thing, I've come to realise. Now anyone who knows me well, and even those who don't, know that my birthday is a BIG DEAL for me. I start planning for my birthday from Jan 2nd itself, and all this hyper-ness leads to major expectations building up for the day, and major disappointment when such unreasonable expectations don't get fulfilled. It's a vicious cycle. Yet, despite the sky high expectations I have, my family and friends have time and again managed to exceed even those expectations, and for that, I am truly blessed. (Alas, the same cannot be said of Nike, but that's grist for another post)."?.p

This year I wanted to be home, in Vizag, for my birthday. The last time I was home on my birthday was exactly 10 years ago, so being home was a special way of celebrating my birthday. Somehow, I managed to have no expectations at all this year, made no plans, and as a consequence, I was rewarded with a very pleasant day that brought me much joy and love.

My parents and Samee were of course home. Nike came down to Vizag a week earlier, and Mahi (more my own brother than a first cousin) too joined us on the 25th. They blew balloons and put up streamers and invited a few friends over at midnight; I cut a yummy chocolate cake, which was ordered from Food-ex for old times sake.

My parents gifted me a lovely watch which I'd been craving for the last few months - its a white strap with a purple dial studded with white stones, and it's from Fossil, and I couldn't find it in any of the stores in India, Philippines, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore or Vietnam. (Okay, I couldn't find it in any of the stores I looked in; and yes, this is a digression to just show off about my recent holiday). So Amma actually ordered it from the US on Amazon, and my Mama got it along with him to India. Samee bought me a board game, and we've been playing that every night at home since. A dear friend sent me a bouquet with 27 roses. How sweet was that!

I spent the morning taking calls. All my family and friends called to wish, and their wishes left me feeling super kicked and happy all day. (And Sakku, if you're reading this, I did note that you did not call). Nike offered to cook my favourite chicken curry for lunch. Alas, it was a Saturday so despite roaming around for an hour, he couldn't find any open chicken shops so that plan had to be discarded. After lunch, Nike took me along to buy me my surprise gift - an iPad! Yes, I got an iPad for my birthday, and I'm super duper thrilled with it, and cant stop shouting about it from the rooftops. In fact, I'm typing this post from my iPad. I'm absolutely loving the iPad, and wondering how I've lived without it for so long. Oh, and Mahi is buying me the iPad case as a gift.

After we picked up the iPad, Nike dropped me off at my favourite spa for a pedicure. Later, Samee, Mahi, Nike and I went to the beach at Bheemli, where a few friends joined us. After a nice time at the beach, we headed home, changed, and then left for dinner with the parents. At the restaurant, I was given another surprise as more family friends joined us for dinner. Thus ended what was a very pleasant birthday.

And that, my dear readers, is how I turned 27!

P.S: Unfortunately, there are no pics of the day because Nike doesn't like taking out the SLR for 'casual' occasions, and I don't have a point-and-shoot. It's time I got myself one, or I'll forever remain without pictures of small but memorable occasions, thanks to that useless man's photography hangups!

P.P.S: I'm typing this on a train from Delhi to Jsisalmer; the start of a 9 day holiday in Rajasthan. Nike doesn't know it yet, but this is also his birthday gift to me - I'm simply going to refuse to pay for the trip expenses.

The Last Ten Years

This past decade has been quite eventful for me – I left home for college, I met people who would become some of my best friends, my long held ambition of going to one of the country’s best b-schools was fulfilled, I fell in and out of love, I met the guy who I would eventually marry, I became financially independent, I learnt to love the work I was doing, and I also found the courage to leave behind a steady job and income to do something else. Phew! So much of my life till now took place in the last 10 years!

So today I decided I am going to write about the five most important lessons I’ve learnt in the last 10 years, with the hope that the lessons I’ve learnt in this past decade will serve me in good stead in the next decade.

·           It’s okay if things don’t happen the way you planned. I was all set to go to Delhi for undergrad when an unexpected setback saw me end up in Hyderabad. I was miserable there for the first year because things didn’t turn out the way they had planned. Once I managed to let go of my misery, I actually enjoyed myself in Hyderabad. And made friends who till date remain some of my best friends, people who are among the first I turn to in times of trouble and need or in times of happiness – and for that reason, I am so grateful that life didn’t go the way I had planned.

When I didn’t get into IIMA, I was rather upset because that’s where I had planned to be. Now, if I could turn back time, nothing would induce me to go anywhere except be, for how would I have met Nike otherwise? And these two experiences have taught me that life will not go as I’ve planned it and that sometimes, for reasons unknown to us, that’s for the best!

·           Sometimes it’s best to learn to let go. While I get along easily with people I meet for the first time, I take a long time to make friends. But once someone is a friend, they are a friend for life. I’m the kind of person who will forgive a friend anything, and hang on tenaciously to the friendship. However, over the past few years, I’ve learnt to let go of friends when I felt they aren’t interested anymore. And it’s been a hard lesson to learn. When I think of the friends who aren’t really friends anymore, for various reasons, it breaks my heart – and yet, I no longer have it in me to doggedly keep up a one-sided friendship.

·           You aren’t always the person you think you are. Because I was confident and outgoing, I always thought of myself as a strong person. And then, when I was 20, I landed myself in a very difficult situation. And instead of responding like a strong person would, I ended up reacting in a most lily-livered fashion. Looking back on that event, there are so many things I wish I had done differently. But most of all, I was shattered by how weak my behaviour was through the whole episode – it was like seeing a new side of me that didn’t exist, and I wasn’t proud of me.

And while the biggest take-away from that entire episode was that I promised myself that I would be a stronger, braver person, it also made me understand myself better, forced me to acknowledge some of my (many, many) shortcomings, and work on them.

·           It’s not alright to not be able to take care of yourself.  All my life, I stressed so much on women being financially independent that I never thought about people being independent. When I left home 10 years ago, I’d never done anything by myself – never went to the store to buy fruits/vegetables/groceries, never carried luggage, never cooked, never did any household chores, never paid any bills, nothing! Living in a small city with well-connected parents and in a home with adequate household help can do that to you.

But the worst part was that I was actually proud of it. Proud that I was pampered and cosseted. The years have taught me better. I’ve learnt that it’s not enough to be financially independent, that one has to be able to take care of oneself too, in order to be independent in the true sense.

·           Live for today.  This is a philosophy I picked up along the way to adulthood. And it’s a philosophy I endorse completely. Sure, I look forward to the future with eagerness and anticipation. And I look back on the past with fondness and nostalgia. And yet, I live for today – I believe in making the most of now, and this has made me a very, very happy and a very content person.

And that’s the end of class for today folks. ;-) I’m going to leave you with this song.

Happy New Year

Here is wishing 2011 brings lots of happiness, love and laughter. Happy New Year!

Yeah, I know I’m late on the New Year party, but I’ve just been so so so busy the last one month. In this year, I’ve already been to Thailand, Vietnam and Malaysia, and I’m now at the airport waiting to board my flight to Singapore. I’ve actually thought of about a dozen New Year themed posts but I’ve not had the time to sit down and write even a single one.

So what did you do for New Years Eve? You know those people who say ‘It’s just another evening. What’s the big deal? ; well, suffice to say I’m NOT one of those people. As a child, I had the most uneventful New Years Eves – we’d all sit around and watch television, cut a cake at midnight, make a couple of calls and go to sleep. One memorable (NOT!) New Years Eve was spent on a bus from Vijaywada to Hyderabad. I’d make a fuss about having a party at home or atleast attending a party or event we had been invited to, but we stuck to the same old routine.

And so, with the dramatics that was so typical of my childhood, I vowed that when I was grown up, I would not spend New Years Eve in such a boring fashion. Yes, I actually made a vow like that. No, I can’t say anything in my defence except that I have a love of melodrama.

Anyway, I use this whole ‘boring childhood NYE’ shit as some sort of Freudian justification for the excesses of my adult New Years Eve. I’ve been in Goa for three of the last six. Enough said. Once in a ‘resort’ in the outskirts of Bangalore. Once in Vizag. And this time in Bangkok. Yeah, BANGKOK, baby!

So I flew in to Bangkok on 31^st December. We headed out to Central World Chidlom, which is supposedly Bangkok’s (supremely inadequate) response to Times Square. The street was spilling over with people – some 300,000 people filled up the street in party mode. And there were food stalls, beer gardens, concerts, and shops all over the place. It was like a crazy festival. At midnight, we saw the fireworks, and then had some street food for dinner and tottered home and hit the bed.

On New Years Day, we woke up late, had brunch at a very nice place, went to a temple (my idea! really! apparently it’s a Thai tradition to go to the temple on New Year, and I believe when in Thailand, do as the Thais do). Then some sightseeing, some shopping, met some friends for coffee and finished off with dinner at an Indian place since Nike was craving Indian food. So if the 1st day is any indication, 2011 is going to be filled with eating, sightseeing, shopping and spending time with friends. Sounds great to me!

Well, so this was just to wish anyone around here a Happy New Year, and to say, yes, I’m alive, and I’ll be back here soon!