Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Oh, that grumpy girl again!

I’m extremely put out right now. First, I haven’t been feeling well at all. I was ill most of July. It was the sickest I’ve ever been in my whole life, and I was in that condition for close to 2 weeks. When I recovered from that, I got some extremely painful mouth ulcers. And when I’m done with that, I now have a bad cold and lots of wheezing. There’s this room in my aunt’s place which usually brings on the wheezing and I stupidly slept there for the last 2 nights so now I have a bad cold and that scary feeling of breathlessness.

The cold started yesterday morning and I thought it would pass. But today, I woke up in the middle of the night because I had difficulty breathing. So I shifted out on the diwan in the living room but it wasn’t much better. So I took medicine and it helped to ease my breathing but I had a fairly restless night and while I’m breathing easier now, I still have a bad cold and the wheeze remains.

To top it all, I’ve been having a long drawn out quarrel with N for the last few days. I don’t like long drawn out quarrels at all – I’m quick to get angry, and I’m equally quick to forgive. But this time, he doesn’t even seem sorry, he has been committing the same (or similar) crime for the last few days without any attempt at appeasing me, he thinks I’m creating a big deal out of nothing, and he thinks HE is the aggrieved party in the quarrel. It’s like I’m speaking in another language because I just can’t get through him at all.

It’s extremely frustrating because if I say anything more, I will be accused of overreacting. But no heed is paid to what I’ve already said, and no effort is made to make up for HIS mistakes. I’m majorly pained, angry, frustrated and fed up – but I’m trying hard not to let the anger show and be atleast normal, if not nice, which also that man doesn’t appreciate – and it is completely draining me out.

So I decided to turn to G for, well, an ear into which I can put out all my troubles in minute detail. Instead he thinks it’s a very silly little quarrel, he all but finds it amusing, he thinks I should adjust (WTF!) and he is more concerned that I learn to eat a sub the right way than about my quarrel. So much for friends! Hmphh. (Though to be fair, I did feel a lot better when I met up with G, for he really empathises and listens and tries to understand).

And then my Mom calls me to ask me why I’m spending so much. Now I am a wild spendthrift but as long as I don’t keep checking my account balance and keeping a tab on my expenses, I can live on happily. But the rare times I check my account to see how much I have already spent that month, a gloom descends on me and I make resolutions of thrift which I’m incapable of sticking too. So I’m already sad that I have been so wildly careless with my wallet the last couple of months, and that I’m quite nearing bankruptcy when my Mom calls me, during work hours, to remind me of the same thing.

But what makes me madder still is that she checked my bank statement (well, she works in the bank and can access my account statement). I SO do not approve of that. In fact, it makes me see red. It’s the only bank I’ve been using all my life, and its now my salary account but I think I’m going to open an account in another bank and transfer funds each month. I don’t need Mom calling me up to check on why and where I’ve been blowing up all the money, my conscience is enough trouble as it is.

Now I’ve moved out of my apartment and am staying at my aunt’s place till I move to Bangalore. Now the advantage of this is that I get to eat good, home cooked food which should boost up my health (I suspect that my recent spate of health issues is simply because of my extremely unhealthy eating habits). I also get to watch TV which does not translate into K serials, like it did in my apartment, and it’s good to go home to people you love (which wasn’t what I felt for my roommates though we mostly got along peacefully) at the end of the day.

But the major downside is that an auto ride from there to office costs 100 bucks one way! It takes well over an hour to reach work in the morning, because of the insane traffic, and I’m now late all the time. And it’s very difficult to get autos on my way home because its so far off and they wont get return fare. I can’t even meet up with friends after work because the later it is, the more difficult it is to get autos.

To top it all, my boss isn’t confirming a date for my move to Bangalore. He had earlier mentioned 10th, though he said he would follow up with the partner in the Bangalore office for a confirmation, so I made all my plans accordingly. Now with 10th being hardly 2-3 days away and no handover of any projects happening, I guess its highly unlikely I will be moving so soon. And the longer I take to move, the more frustrated I will get with the transport issues I am facing right now.

I’m one very grumpy, pained girl right now. I shall now go home and sulk and rant to glory. Gah!.


Mihir said...

Mr N ... nice try :P

Anonymous said...

poor Mr. N must be putting up with a lot of other stuff the Ms R would be dishing out at him..so i guess u can stop making a big deal out of it..rite?

Enigmatik said...

A Very Happy Independence Day ...

May We ll make this Country gain better heights and ghet more Prosperous .

take care


Ramya said...

@Mihir: :p

@Anon: Huh! It was a BIG deal.

@enigmatik: Thanks for the wishes!

Anonymous said...


How r u ... been a long time ... hope ur doing good...

wat happened ... ru fed up writting ...

take care


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