Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Unbearable Fatness of Being

So I’ve been a thin person all my life. In fact, I was a very skinny kid, and thin as a teenager. Every time I met relatives after a gap, they would exclaim about how thin I was, and insist that I needed to eat more and put on weight. I was a fussy eater, but the food I did eat and enjoy were all unhealthy and fattening – aerated drinks, butter, bread, white rice, ice creams, chocolates etc. I never exercised. Despite such an unhealthy lifestyle, I continued to be a thin person. So I just assumed I would be thin all my life, maybe it was in my genes, and that was it!


When I went to college, the girls in the gang I hung out with were thinner than I was. They were painfully skinny. It didn’t bother me much because I knew I was slim, and was happy with myself. I continued my unhealthy lifestyle through college. Even after I started working, there wasn’t much difference. Between 2001 and 2007, my weight fluctuated within a range of some 5kgs – and my BMI always indicated that I was underweight. My college clothes still fit me, people laughed when I said I wanted to start working out, and I was most certainly in the slim category.


So I was happy with myself, and life moved on. Then came 2008. And with the new year came the realisation that I led an unhealthy lifestyle. So I decided to turn over a new leaf – start exercising, eat healthy foods, cut down on unhealthy foods. But the lifestyle change was a painfully slow process – in fact, it took me almost 4 months to start it on a conscientious basis. So from April, I cut down on the colas, I cut down on the ice-creams, I cut down on the chocolates. Luckily at around this time, I seemed to have lost the appetite for pizzas, fries, chips etc.


I also started running on and off. I ran because I wanted to be fit and healthy and wanted to build my stamina. I enjoyed running, I enjoyed pushing myself, I enjoyed the tired feeling I got after my run. It was the only physical activity I did and it made me feel good about myself. However, I never ran regularly because I was either travelling, or it rained, or I had other plans for the evening. Yet, I enjoyed running occasionally, and it made me feel good, and made me hope that I would be building up my stamina.


So there I was - trying to lead a healthier lifestyle. Drinking lots of water, not skipping meals, trying to avoid unhealthy foods, exercising occasionally (and hopefully that would become regular soon). While this wasn’t doing much, I had never been more conscious of my health and fitness before, and it made me feel good. I felt good about myself, and I was proud of making an effort, however small, toward leading a healthier lifestyle.


And then the unthinkable happened – I PUT ON WEIGHT! And how! All the clothes which fit me well earlier have become tight for me. All the clothes which were loose for me earlier are fitting me now. My middle is expanding, my thighs are widening, my arms bulging. I moved from underweight on the BMI chart to ideal weight. I am now officially – dare I say it – the waist size I always dreaded being. And all this in just two months – the very two months since I embarked on my journey towards a healthier lifestyle.


(Okay…..I kind of fell asleep at this point and lost the thread of the post so the next paragraph is just a perfunctory ending).


What the fuck! I am so puzzled and dismayed and have been obsessing over it for the last few …days. Bloody hell! I am so MAD. I think this whole healthy lifestyle is bullshit. I think I should just go back to doing what I used to do before – which was basically nothing.


*Steam goes off! End of rant*

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol.....i so knew id find a post this time n i knew it wud abt jus this......guess who????

Anonymous said...

i mean i knew it wud be abt jus this

Anonymous said...

you are growing old...

Ramya said...

@Anon1: No clue, especially given this has been my crib to all and sundry in the last few days. Nike? Abhishek? Mihir? Ships?

@Anon2: Yeah, indeed I am. :p

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