Friday, February 24, 2012

Tales from a Marriage


Priorities or Lack Thereof
One night last week, Nike and I had a long discussion about finances. Rather, I launched into a long monologue about finances while Nike pretended to listen. We expect some big changes in our life in the second half of the year - a possible shift of jobs and cities – and I am worried that we will be in a tight spot financially for the next one year after that. Which led to the monologue where I spoke about how I was worried about finances and how we need to manage finances better; at the end of it all Nike said I worry unnecessarily and promptly went off to sleep!
The next day, he noticed a single strand of grey hair. And fell headlong into depression. I told him a single strand did not a whole head of hair make. I told him that he would look very sexy with grey hair - an Indian George Clooney, if you will (I don't actually think he will look anything like that but you're allowed to lie in extenuating circumstances). That day, he poured half a bottle of oil on his hair and then made his mother put some sort of hair pack on his head. When I came back home from work that evening, he had a long talk with me about how worried he was about his grey hair, and what steps he would take to prevent more grey hairs! 
If ever there was a case of messed up priorities, it is this!
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Of Course, it’s a Competition!
Last week, Nike made banana walnut muffins. I was not happy about this at all. I made a banana cake just a few weeks ago and was still basking in the glory of all the praise I received for that. Now Nike was making banana walnut muffins. And since he is a much better cook, I was sure his muffins would taste better than my cake. I couldn’t let this happen. So I bombarded him with recipes for vanilla muffins, apple cinnamon muffins, red velvet cupcakes and anything else that did not have banana in it. But he was adamant that it would be banana walnut muffins only and rejected all the other recipes I sent him.
I then tried to sabotage the muffins by hovering around him while he was baking and giving him all sorts of incorrect advice. However, he banished me from the kitchen so I went and sulked instead. He called me to come and taste once the muffins were done, and I was forced to admit that they tasted better than my cake. Even though the walnuts were burnt. But, but, but, but, but…..my banana cake looked WAY better than his muffins. So we’re even now, no?
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Great Expectations
My birthday is this Sunday. I am so excited and hyper about it that one would be forgiven for thinking I’m going to be eight, instead of twenty-eight (As an aside, I am rather anal about spelling out numbers, instead of simply writing them down in number format. They look so much more beautiful when spelt out fully. Twenty-eight. 28. You tell me, which looks better? End of aside.) And so for my birthday, I thought long and hard and discussed with friends and colleagues and finally decided I would ask Nike for a diamond pendant for my birthday gift.
Instead, Nike gave me vouchers worth Rs.7000 at Landmark. This is much worse than it sounds because (a) These were vouchers left over from the gift he bought me for our anniversary, not vouchers he specifically purchased for my birthday (b)We (though Nike says I) managed to lose half the vouchers so in reality, I have vouchers worth only Rs.3500 (c) Despite my insistence on going and shopping alone for books, Nike accompanied me and then ruined the entire experience by being in a bad mood, snapping at me, and hurrying me through the shopping so that I ended up buying books that I am not sure I want.
Consequently, I feel cheated and gift-less. I am telling Nike that he needs to buy me another gift. Something that I can show off on Facebook, on my blog, and to my family and friends is thoughtful and considerate.
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And so the countdown starts to Sunday. Happy weekend, you guys!


12 comments:

subbulakshmistoned said...

Are you moving to Bangalore? Please say yes.
Please give me baking tips no? After that detailed mail you wrote to me about Hyderabad (which i totally totally love and have marked as AWESOME in my mailbox), I am sure I will become a great baker under your aegis. (that is the only thing left for me to achieve.)
GET THAT DIAMOND PENDANT.

Anonymous said...

I quite like the diamond idea. It would be a bargain for prashant, because with that cost (diamond's) i made soujanya buy all those things which she would never buy me ;)

-Praveen

Chan said...

:)

Belated birthday wishes!

hAAthi said...

Belated happy birthday yo!
And I found myself shaking my head vigorously in agreement to each of you tales.. Same shit, different home type scene :)

Ramya said...

@Subbu: I love Bangalore but I'm not moving there. Will hopefully be moving to a new and exciting place. Will make a grand and dramatic announcement once I am sure that move is happening....which will take a couple of months. I write good mails only about travel ya....my baking skills are basic at best. Instead, you should write me a mail about how to cook and then maybe I will be able to cook something people can eat.

@Praveen: My god! Praveen...you evil person. What a clever ploy! I am not surprised - this is the same intelligence you used to fill up my timesheets as blank. :p

@Chan: Thank you :)

@hAAthi: Thanks for the wishes :)

phatichar said...

Nice post. :)

Abhishek Ghosh said...

Funny post. According to The Economist's style guide 0-9 are written in words and 10 to infinity (except infinity) are numerals

Most women I know would settle for a husband who cooks. Ingrateful, you want him to cook or bake but not when you've done it in recent memory. Having your cake and eating it too? Or should that be muffin?

Pesto Sauce said...

Gosh! Have some mercy on the guy, diamond pendants may be a tad heavy for him

Lakshmi said...

:D Ramya, this makes for a funny read :)

Ramya said...

@Lakshmi: Thank you! :)

Anonymous said...

i remembered you once had a blog so came around now to check it. good job on maintaining it, the post brought a chuckle to this old man who cannot go to sleep in the middle of the night. oh, and i am coming to V in a couple of weeks :-D

¬GV

Ramya said...

@GV: :-)

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