Monday, February 14, 2005

Why I dont write romantic novels and other stories

So I dont write Mills and Boons level novels because I dont think any self-respecting M&B reader would appreciate the literary genius in the following sentences:
'Brian let out a sigh as he lay down next to Fawn. He slowly pushed aside her golden hair from her eyes, looked into those blue-as-sapphire eyes overflowing with love and said "You have an ass as soft and smooth as a baby's cheek" '
or
'May lay down on the bed, staring out at the window.How she missed Windsor, his platinum speckled brown eyes, the feel of his strong muscular arms around her, the feel of his mouth against her...well, really, it wasnt right for a woman of her upbringing to be thinking such traitorous thoughts.She suddenly looked up as she heard horse's hooves. Yes, yes!! It was her darling Windsor emerging victorious from battle. She ran to the balcony and leaned against the railing, trying to get a good view of him. She couldnt. So she leaned over.Some more.Then she toppled over and fell. Died on the spot. End of novel.'
Basically, the few precious hours I wasted on M&B's, I wished all of them would end like this. And last time I went home for the holidays, my sister tells me she found a particular M&B much more touching than Eric Segal's 'Love Story'. My sister also listens to Britney Spears, Blue and BSB. I have not yet decided whether to disown her or to take up the onerous task of making her a better person, in the lines of yours truly.
Its Valentines Day today. And a bunch of men on campus have organised a 'Shab-E-Tanhai' at L-Square tonight. The setting from outside my window at the L^2 is beautiful...lots of matresses at the L^2 and some lamp shades to create the effect of dull lighting. Soft ghazals playing. The men are drunk. Some are sticking to the brief of looking sloshed, sad and lovelorn. But some are laughing in the manner which can be associated only with men who are so drunk they would find Chacha Choudary hilarious.
I dont care much for Ghazals so am playing cheerful songs in my room loud enough to drown out the strains of the ghazals. Most people fall into two categories when it comes to V-Day...there are the ones who have a valentine for whom they buy gifts(heart shaped pilows, heart shaped balloons,heart shaped chocolates, soft toys holding red hearts...basically everything you can think of which is red and heart shaped) and get back such gifts in return.
The next category of persons are those who crib 'I dont have a Valentine this year. Im so sad.And they go buy red heart shaped stuff for themselves and eat lotsa of heart shaped chocolates and watch sad romantic movies and cry their hearts out. And the final category are those who, when its V-Day say 'Im afraid I cant give you my heart but I do have certain other throbbing organs you might be interested in'!
Me? I dont fit into any of the categories. I do believe all these 'days' are just hyped up by card and gift companies to boost their sales. But if some guy is getting commercial exploited by the card and gift shops fo rmy benefit, I have no problems at all with it! But I dont rant and rave against these 'days'. I just treat them with the laziness with which I treat most other things.
I shall now leave you to comment. And yeah...Happy Valentines Day everyone!

20 comments:

Chiru said...

Very good writer and a truly business women.. want to accept gifts because you think you are helping in their business? Some things are beyond business..I am sure people give gifts to you not to promote business..

Mihir said...

and so we have the official commenter mr chiranjeevi ... who will be the first one to comment on yourevery blog post :-)

anyway Happy V Day girl :)

illusionaire said...

"she leaned over.Some more.Then she toppled over and fell. Died on the spot. End of novel"
LOL... now i can see u aint an M&B girl. way to go! :)

"which can be associated only with men who are so drunk they would find Chacha Choudary hilarious"
You seem to have a great experience with guys who are drunk! all part of the growing up process huh? :)

"And the final category are those who, when its V-Day say 'Im afraid I cant give you my heart but I do have certain other throbbing organs you might be interested in'! "
did Nike say this to you???? :)

LOL, seriously ramya, that was an AMAZING post. laughed my ass out... and i can see Chiru as usual being the first one to post a reply. I'm sure he has set your blog as his homepage! :D

illusionaire said...

oh... happy valentine's day by the way....

Anonymous said...

nice try at screaming out "im above all this!" n "im different" n so on. but, i think its the crowds way of dealing with v-day. a dull eye, a seen-it-all look, a scowl and a brushing-a-speck-of-dust-off-the-wrist gesture is all they got for it.

Ramya said...

Chiru: I dont accept gifts to promote business. I do it for myself.you didnt get it.

Mihir: Happy V-Day to you too.

Kima: I shall ignore your comment about Nike. And Im afraid that line want an orignial.Thanks for your compliment. And a very happy valentine's day to you too.

Anonymous: Agree that it is the crowd's way of dealing with Valentine's Day. Lets just say that I appreciate the historical significance of Valentine's Day but Im not a romantic so it just doesnt mean much to me. And a happy valentine's day to you.

Mihir said...

@Kima "You seem to have a great experience with guys who are drunk! all part of the growing up process huh? :)"

what makes u think she has actually grown up ?? :P She is one of the kids on campus no doubt :)

illusionaire said...

Ah yes, she will always be the kid of IIMB, no matter what :))

But hey, give her some credit. atleast she's trying to be a grown-up. See, she started with tequila, nike, what else.... :)

chiru said...

Growing up doesn't mean getting spoilt.. and statements doesn't become funny just because they end with :)

Mihir said...

@Chiru ... shut up u loser. u call yourself a true friend ?? then why r u trying to force ur own beliefs onto someone else ? and why is drinking bad ? give me one concrete reason. And if anyone is getting spoilt ... if they dont want u to meddle in their affairs ... bugger off ...

Anonymous said...

nice..very nice!! n plz stop talkin abt ur sis as if shes an embarrassment to nature..well i guess shes in the phase of life whn ppl do listen to BSB n read M&B n stuff.. me myself was young n tht stupid once.n hello girl..stop talking as if ur the grown up/mature one.. look arnd u..look at ppl like kima ..hes the mature one..look n learn frm him!!

illusionaire said...

whoah! anonymous! *blush*
thanx :)
although i frankly dont think i deserve to be homoured with such humble lines. I just live my life the way i want. thanx anyway.

hey chiru, mihir is right. u gotta draw the line somewhere between being concerned for a fren and giving that person her own space. Ofcourse the next time we all go out, i am not going to force open her mouth and pour gallons of beer into her belly :) But if she wants to drink, its up to her. No way am i stopping her from doing what she likes...
and drinking means "getting spoilt"? Lol. :)
now i guess ending a sentence with ":)" is funny.

Mihir said...

@anonymous ... if u r referring to chiru when u say "plz stop talkin abt ur sis as if shes an embarrassment to nature" .... :)) i would love to see chiru reading this :)) and this smiley is funny :-)

Chiru said...

Stupid Mihir, don't make it a mini Bracket.. Mr. Anonymous was referring to Ramya's sis ..
And Mr. Anonymous, y do u post anonymously..?

Congrats Ramya, ur blog is becoming the most read blog .. and when is the nest article? Eagerly waiting..

Anonymous said...

honestly i find this blog quite immature.seems to be an attempt to project maturity and 'cool' attitude whcih frankly falls flat on its face. no hard feelings.

illusionaire said...

Seriously, i don't know how we ended up here. It all started with just me and mihir making fun of our fren ramya (just a harmless tease) and then dear Chiru had to step in and make it a serious maturity vs immaturity debate.

Guess i got carried away a bit.

Chiru said...

Sorry.. I didn't realise.. :(

Chiru said...

Sorry.. I didn't realise.. :(

Wimpy said...

speaking of your writing, note that you haven't yet put your first article for Twisted Shout... how much longer will you continue to freeride? :)

Chiru said...

U didn't get the funda wimpy.. Twisted shout is too romantic for Ramya and so she is not writing for TS :)

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